Why do I feel Inconsistent?
I feel like I'm going Insane
Spoke to God but he won't listen
Maybe it's because I do the same
Being told that time is borrowed
Don't waste it or you will regret
What do I do with all my sorrow?
Is my fate already set?
What do I see looking in the mirror?
It's my mission to find that out
If every step success is nearer
Why am I still filled with doubt?
All these questions with no answers
I ask myself what should I do
If my anxiety is a cancer
Will it keep me from finding you?
Wish that I could snap my fingers
All this pain just went away
Unhealed trauma forever lingers
It always leads to disarray
I know i'm a decent person
But voices tell me that i'm not
Nonetheless I'm at your service
My love's eternal once it's bought
Intimacy is something different
Don't even have it with myself
Need to be ready in an instant
To take my feelings off the shelf
All this weight on my shoulders I carry all day
Filled up with words but got nothing to say
I feel it all but am numb to the pain
Need to find my way 'fore I go insane
I put all of this work in and things stay the same
I'm told to keep patient and I'll have my day
Through all of these earthquakes I'll maintain the aim
And keep on just working 'till I stake my claim
I can't f****n' sleep and it's driving me crazy
Searching for sun but the sky just stays shady
Wish I had someone that I could call baby
But I know that it's my job to be who will save me
you haunt my dreams so I stay awake
Remorse if any would just be too late
I don't see the purpose in wiping the slate
Maybe it's me 'cuz I'm filled up with hate
If habits define you I'll never be great
Chased by my own demons there is no escape
Wish I could connect but I just can't relate
I still hear your voice but we don't even speak
If I say I'm in pain does that make me weak?
Forever running on this broken street
Pain in my stomach I can't even eat
One voice keeps on saying I'll never be s**t
The other one yelling at me not to quit
Which one if either remains legit?
Which one do I listen to when I get hit?
Will I be missed when I'm dead and gone?
Will people make the claim that I have lived wrong?
That I struggled to feel like I did belong
But through thick and thin I always stayed strong
And no matter what hit me I always fought on
I could expand my ability to write to the highest degree
And still not find the words to explain what it is you sparked in me
Complete strangers, and yet I feel like I've known you my whole life
Your energy dances around my room as I sleep throughout the night
Is it possible, to fall in love with someone you've never formally met?
What is love anyways? Maybe I don't know that answer yet
Who even holds the keys to make sense of this arbitrary definition?
We're only given breif moments to reflect on it during life's fleeting intermissions
Did I pull you to me, or life pulled me to you?
Either way the steps I took led me to a beautiful view
I only caught glimpses of who you are, for I am on the outside looking in
I hope that one day this familiar stranger will invite me in
Weather my relationship with the universe is weak, strong or something in between
When I look into the future, a connection with you is what is seen
Life is full of mysteries, with infinite questions on the path we roam
But one thing is for certain, one day I know I'll be your home
