I once bought a deck of cards titled "Know yourself". This 60 card deck is based around self-exploration, where each card asks challenging and thought provoking questions about your life. Below are some questions along with my answers that I feel comfortable sharing on this site.
This is an interesting question, and is actually something that I think about on my own. I think in some ways it is good to self reflect and look at yourself dispassionately. It is a way to gain objective truths about ourselves that we may not see otherwise. I have two words: ANXIETY and DEPRESSION. These two foundation-crumbling words have always been and most likely always will be themes in my life. Themes that disrupt so much of my life in so many ways.
To answer this question it would be that. The fact that I struggle with anxiety and depression. Anyone that fights similar battles knows just how illogical chemical imbalances in your brain can make your thought process, and how you see the world. I'll start specifically with anxiety. When I am feeling good, I am feeling good. But when anxiety creeps up, I become irrational. I can't focus on anything. I am paranoid. I am scared, and I get physically sick. In extreme cases, I wear this feeling of dread, where my mind convinces me something is going to happen and I might die today. And then depression. I am a goal oriented person. I focus on healthy habits, remaining open minded to opportunity and change, and try to be a little better every day.
When depression hits, all of that gets wiped out. It's like I fall into a pit, that has no bottom and I sink deeper and deeper and deeper. I can't smell, I can't taste, and any fire inside of me is stomped out. The only thoughts that course through me are negative, and they feed into the idea that I will never amount to anything. The only thing to do is to crawl, and take the necessary steps in an attempt to "feel a little better". Enough to climb back out of the pit, and continue moving my life forward; however slowly. So my warning to someone looking to start a relationship would be this; I would step in front of a bullet for you, no questions asked. But there are wars fought inside my head that you may never see, and I know how that can be challenging for someone on the outside to deal with.
